Dont you wish you were hot like me?

33 week belly shot sporting the I love Mike Rowe shirt the girls got me for Mother's Day..

So, I am really feeling as if Dan is completely turned off by me.. I mean, why would he not be? We got the Wii Fit last night and I set up my profile, and I think he saw that my listed BMI was 43... um, but the stupid game ddid not know I am pregnant..
I really feel as though we are drifting apart.. I feel as if we dont spend any time together.. I am always sleeping or just laying around at this point.
I hate this feeling, as it makes me doubt our relationship and I know he would think that is silly.

Seriosuly, how do I expect him to be attracted to me when i am up 50 lbs from before I got pregnant and up more than that frmo when we met? My uterus is measuring 46 weeks, I am HUGE, my face is swollen, my nose is bulbous, my hair is never done, my face is broken out, and I had him pop a big zit on my neck.
HOT!

I just hope that I can lose this weight and not look so gross after the babies are born. I hate not feeling as if he is attracted to me. The fact that we can not have sex does not help things any.

I'm miserably uncomfortable being this big pregnant and my self-esteem is shot at this point.

33 weeks and some drama...

Went for another growth ultrasound yesterday.. 32 weeks 6 days. We were honestly a little afraid of what Jake would measure, since he has been so big, and we were very surprised. His measurements put him with an EDD of June 3, as opposed to July 5... his approximate weight was 6lbs 15 oz. That is almost 7 pounds....he is the size of an average 38 week baby, at not quite 33 weeks.
Annabelle is growing steadily and measured with an EDD of July 7. Her approximate weight was 4 lbs 6 oz. She is growing right on track for a 33 week baby.
Needless to say, the dr was VERY concerned and had me scared out of my wits. She is so concerned that his size will not allow the placenta to keep up with his needs. She has changed my schedule from 2 times weekly to 3 times.. 2 NSTs, one exam and 3 sonos.
She will do an amnio on Jake at 36 weeks, June 9, to see if his lungs are mature enough to deliver, and if so, they will be delivered via c-section June 10.
I am so worried about them coming that early, as I hate the thought of them having to stay in the NICU, but what can I do? Thank God my body is not showing any signs of pre-term labor, no dialation, etc. I want healthy babies to be delivered... she is worried that with his size he will be pretty sick, as bigger male white babies struggle if they are born premature, more than girls.
For now, both babies look great, and they move all the time.
I am miserably uncomfortable with almost 12 pounds of baby in me, hard to get comfortable to sleep and hard to get comfortable even to sit, but I will do whatever is best for these babies.

31 weeks!!!

31 weeks today. I am so excited, but also so ready to start feeling normal again. I have been getting more and more uncomfortable. I find it hard to move, hard to walk... hard to sleep.. hard to get out of bed.. I am starting to walk just like my mom... just hard to move!!!

We had our NSTs Monday and Thursday. it is getting really hard to walk the hospital halls. But the babies did well on both NST (although they wont be still for them!) I have been averaging 45 minutes to an hour hooked up, and that is miserable to lay there with the probes strapped tight for that long.

The sonograms are interesting. They have been checking their fluid and muscle tone. They also check their heartbeats and make sure they look ok in general.

So far, so good.. I am guessing they will be here between 35-36 weeks.. I have the feeling one day I will go in and the dr will say that's it.. and deliver them.

As much as I want to feel better, I also want healthy babies. I really dont want the babies to have to stay in the NICU... I want to be able to bring them home.

Im gonna keep plugging along.

In other news.. the girls only have 4 weeks of school left. I am ready for them to be home with me. I like when they come home from school now that I am working from home. Although sometimes they drive me crazy, I like being able to see them before 6:15 or 6:30.
And although I can not do much with them right now physically, I am hoping they will be able to help me out getting the babies' and Allison's rooms ready when construction is done.
Speaking of construction, the framing for the walls is up today. It is neat to be able to see where the rooms will be. I am starting to get excited!